The New Wave of Childhood Anxiety: Six Things Your Kids Want You to Know
These have been, and continue to be, anxiety-provoking times. We feel the palpable buzz from the aftermath of the pandemic, the heaviness of polarizing world events, the adjustment to social justice growth, and the influence of the online world. It has been a massive challenge to effectively protect our kids from the impact of adult worry.
There has been an increase in reports of health-based anxiety, school-based anxiety, social anxiety, and general anxiety experienced by our children. In many ways, these are normal reactions to abnormal and overwhelming situations. Many parents ask us what to do to help their kids with the experience of worry and anxiety. Here are some things kids who experience anxiety want you to know:
I am not an anxious kid. I am separate from anxiety. Labeling me as an anxious kid, a sensitive kid, a worried kid influences how I see myself. Instead, remind me that the feeling of worry/anxiety/fear, etc. is visiting me. Ask me questions and use my answers to help me understand why I am having these feelings.
I’m not sure that these feelings will ever leave. It helps me when you remind me that feelings are temporary. Tell me that feelings come, (and while they can feel hard to get through at times) they tend to go away.
I need to see that you CAN handle my expression of feelings. This helps me feel safe to share what I’m experiencing. I will know that you can handle this through your consistent actions, matching non-verbal cues, and matching words. I need to know that I can cry, tantrum, show fear, etc., and that letting my feelings out will not shut you down, scare you away, or cause you to reject/dismiss me.
I am learning how to name all of the many feelings I have. This can feel confusing. Help me by naming the feeling that you see visiting me. You can use a feelings wheel to help expand my understanding of feelings.
I am learning how to cope with feelings. I wasn’t born knowing how to do this at different stages of development and in different contexts. I need your help. I learn from watching how you cope with feelings. I also learn from the ways you react to me when I am experiencing feelings.
I love play/games/imagination and creativity to help me understand how to work with the visiting feelings. Give me fun ideas to use when I’m elevated. Here are some ideas:
- Open the window and shoo the fear out
- Take a fan and blow the worry away
- Get some bubbles and blow the fear idea into the bubble and POP!
- For older kids, write it down and rip it up, put the worries on paper and into a jar to contain them outside of your mind
- Get on a swing and imagine the fear or worry shooting out of your feet towards the sky.
By understanding these six key points, parents can create a supportive environment where children feel safe to express their anxiety and learn to manage their feelings effectively. Remember, your support and guidance is crucial in helping your child navigate through their anxiety.
